What to expect when expecting a preemie!

I wish I had known what having a premature baby would be like. There was no checklist, there were no words of wisdom I knew. I had no idea what the NICU was, or what they even did there. I did’t even know what a premature baby looked like.

So for all the parents out there expecting a preemie (And for all those who aren’t) Here is my list of things to expect… when expecting a preemie!

Beep Beep Beep

The NICU is a place, full of many different beeps. To this day I can still mimic every beep and tell you what it means (My personal favourite is the CPAP beep). Expect lots of beeping, lots of talking and lots of noisy machines, especially if your little one is quite poorly at birth.

Always ask questions

What’s a Blood sugar, what is that wire doing, and what on earth is CPAP? You may very well come across these questions when your little one is in the NICU. Remember, the nurses and doctors can answer any questions about your little one’s care… and they will definitely encourage it! If there is anything you don’t know ask away!

Speak up!

This is an important one. Remember, your little one has no-one else to speak for them. Ask about their care plan, and if there’s anything you’re unsure about query it. Make sure they explain every procedure to you, and remember you are the parent. It’s normal to feel at a distance to your child at first, especially if they’re in an incubator and covered in wires.

Be the parent

Following on from the point above. Do as much for your child as you can, at first it will only be little things such as holding their hand. But as time goes on you will be able to take their temperature, change their nappy and even give them their first bath! I still remember how happy I was the first time I got to change Nova’s dirty nappy.

Accept help

It’s not easy having a child under normal circumstances, it’s especially not easy having a premature baby. There is plenty of help out there (Both emotional and physical) to support you through this tough time. For me, my family and friends we’re the ones I turned to. There is also Bliss who have some great advice and even a helpline. I also highly recommend a group on Facebook called Parent’s Of Preemies Support UK. They’ve been there for me since Nova was born, and continue to support me now nearly 2 years later!

It is NOT your fault

It is not your fault your baby came early. It is NOT your fault your body went into labour early. It is NOT your fault you needed an emergency c section. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Never ever ever ever blame yourself for having a premature baby. It has to happen to someone, and that someone was unfortunately you. It is a lottery…. a statistic. Nothing more, nothing less. You ARE NOT a failure. You ARE NOT to blame.

Life is a roller coaster, baby

Having a baby in the NICU is like being on a roller coaster. An emotional, tear jerking, awe inspiring, joy bringing, heart wrenching, fear inducing roller coaster. There will be many ups, and many more downs. Take each day as it comes, every day will be different. And whilst some days may be worse than others, remember each day is a new day. And each day is one day closer to your baby being home.

You can take time away

It’s ok to take a day off. Everyone need’s time to de-stress. I took a day away from the NICU here and there, to meet friends, to have a lie in, to just collect my thoughts and have a good cry. It is healthy to want a day to yourself, and not selfish at all.

I hope this list helps, perhaps you have a point of your own to add. Feel free to let other parents know in the comments below!